Okay, I’m going to be honest with you guys. Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. And I have come to the conclusion that it’s time to start doing what makes me happy. And today I want to talk to you about something that I think a lot of people need to hear but not many people want to say. So I’m going to. But before we get into this topic, I think you should have a little back story behind this post.
My name is Kimberly. And I’m a thinker. I think a lot, I over analyze too much, and I have spent majority of my life planning ahead and making goals. Just like everyone else. But here is where it gets a little tricky: I don’t act upon any of it. Nope. Not even one bit. I’m a lot of things, but ballsy is not one of them. I play it safe. Really safe. And frankly, the idea of stepping out of my comfort zone terrifies me.
But what I can say is that every time I have stepped out of my comfort zone in the past, it has led to positive situations.
Now fast forward and fill in the blanks for eighteen years, and drop yourself off right at the cusp of my adulthood, smack dab in the middle of Albany, New York, and just imagine how I felt once I left everything I had ever known for a new town seven hours away from my previous life, studying a rigorous major in a private college…. and all alone. Yeah, as you can imagine, it didn’t turn out too well and I quickly fled for dear life back to my old town and dare I say it: became a college dropout. I cringe at that phrase each time I hear it. It sounds like nails on a chalk board to me.
But at exactly seven long months after heading back to Baltimore, here I am. And I’ve realized now that there a ton of reasons that lead to me leaving that part of my life behind. However none of them are because I’m weak. It simply just wasn’t the right time and place for me. And as of right now I don’t know what I’m doing exactly, but I’m here. And that’s all that matters.
So, with that all being said, today I want to talk about passion. My ambition, drive, creativity, an passions have changed drastically in the last year or so. Growing up, I had always known that I wanted to go to college, travel around the world, and be a musician. But once I found myself in Albany, the passion had completely vanished and was drowned in the anxiety and stress I had undergone. I realized that perhaps I didn’t want to dedicate my whole life to music after all.
When I returned home and had time to settle in and start bettering my mindset, I started to think about the “Next Step” in my life. I started thinking long-term and getting overwhelmed. I couldn’t find the missing key to what I wanted to do with my life. So I took to a pen and paper, made a list of everything that interests me, all the endless possibilities or routes I could take, and got frustrated that I couldn’t narrow it down to one significant meaning, one vessel of passion, one light to drive my soul, and then I realized….
Who says I have to pick one?
Now, hear me out: It’s the American Dream. To graduate, go to college, pick a major and study your ass off, graduate from there and snag a hot-shot job, make tons of money and live happily every after. But what if you didn’t have to just dedicate yourself to one thing? What if you could be a traveling chef who wrote spoken-word poetry on Wednesdays and sold your handmade pottery on the off days when you’re not running your own company? Who’s to tell you how to live your life? I suppose the ideas I’m trying to get at is:
Who says I have to pick one?
1. It’s okay to not know what you’re doing with your life. It doesn’t make you stagnant or less valuable, it just makes you a work in progress.
2. It’s good to experiment and try things. Matter of fact: it’s recommended to.
3. Don’t feel tethered or bound to one passion or job or goal just because you told everyone you were gonna spend your life doing it, or dedicated long nights to it, or are uncomfortable with change.
4. It’s okay and completely normal to have a ton of passions. Try them all equally. You never know where you could end up. Nothing is permanent if you don’t want it to be.
And honestly, these aren’t always easy to remind myself and feel day to day. But I think that recently I have found that I don’t have to categorize myself whatsoever. So for now I’m just going to live happily, create things for my pleasure and hopefully for yours too, and fulfill my life with joy along the way. I can just be a creator and dabble here and there and it is totally okay. I don’t need a title. I can just be Kimberly. And you can just be you.
After all, that is enough.
I hope that this has helped you in some ways if you are feeling like I have been lately! In addition: I would love to hear about your passions in the comments!
As always, thanks for reading.
Side Note: This is the first post to a new series on my site! The “Sunny Side Up” Series is going to be every Sunday morning for now on. I made it so I could talk more personally about lessons I’ve learned, topics I’m passionate about, and general things I want to discuss with others. Think of it as you and I having breakfast over coffee and talking about life, if you will. That’s what I want this series to feel like. So feel free to leave your responses in the comments below, I would love to hear your feedback and thoughts!