Hey friends! I have changed my work schedule around so that way I could have a day off during the week. And today is my first official day to myself. And I have to say, friends, I’m loving it. I don’t know what exactly it is about having an entire home to yourself, a day to do whatever, a break in an otherwise set routine, but it’s amazing. Therapeutic, almost.
But I will admit, there has been times where my mind has switched to feeling guilty, almost. For not being as productive, not getting a huge to-do list done, to not be spinning out blog posts left and right, taking the best photos, going out to a cafe for some good coffee, deep cleaning my apartment, working out, and…. generally anything other than what I have actually been doing.
Does anyone else struggle with “turning off” these days? I know for me specifically, it’s hard for me to sit back and relax, spend quality time with people, to stop thinking about work and agendas and blogging, and to even fall asleep at night. I could be watching TV, and have this longing to grab my phone and endlessly scroll. And I’ve even grown into the habit of coming home from my full time job and go straight to blogging, and then before I know it it’s nearly midnight and I haven’t moved.
You probably could tell by my September Playlist post, but I haven’t been feeling myself lately. And I think that this is definitely a contributing factor to this, if I’m honest. I feel really strange talking about this sort of thing in detail, but I think it is very important that I’m honest with you all about my feelings. I haven’t lost passion for blogging, but as you can see, I haven’t been posting my normal 4+ times a week.
And that’s because somewhere along the way I lost myself.
You see, I doubt myself a lot of the time. And the truth is, sometimes we just can’t help how we feel. But regardless, we must always push forwards, care for ourselves when we need it the most, and remember that it’s okay to not always be okay. And right now, that’s what I’m doing.
I’m trying to love myself again and celebrate who I am. I’ve been filling up my time with things that make me feel good; whether that be evening strolls with my pup or spending time with myself figuring out who it is I am and what it is I want to do.
And while at times it’s been difficult, I have been truly trying to turn these feelings into something positive. And right now, that positive is the fact that I’m slowly starting to find my path.
All of this is basically to say:
This difficult time that I have been going through has taught me some essential pieces about myself. I feel like I’m coming back from it all rejuvenated and focused. I’m clearing my mind, getting ready to begin a new chapter, and am working hard to take this blog to new level. I am so very grateful to be on a blogging platform expressing myself and meeting some amazing people along the way. I hope you all stick around, because I have been planning some exciting stuff that I know you all will love. So stay tuned for all of that! I’m back, better than ever, and I hope you’re ready. Because things can only get better from here, friends!
Side Note: I didn’t intend to make this post all about myself and my feelings. If I’m honest, I planned on talking about the makeup products I used in the photos above. Mostly because 1: this is the look I’ve been wearing almost every day. And 2: A lot of what you see is from the Nikkie Tutorials x Too Faced product launch, which I recently wrote about here. If you are still interested in learning more I’ll quickly let you know:
01. anastasia beverly hills brow wiz in auburn on my brows, with a bit of glossier boy brow
02. urban decay naked skin foundation & maybelline fit me concealer
03. Nikkie Tutorial’s The Power of Makeup palette on eyes and face
04. maybelline lash sensational mascara & PIXI lipstick in honey bare
Let me know in the comments how you’ve been lately. I genuinely want to know. How are you? What’s new in your life? What are you looking forward to? Are you okay? I think it’s important as someone will a following, no matter how big or how small, to use my voice for a purpose. And if you don’t have anyone to talk to, if you’re feeling down, if you’re celebrating something and want to scream it to the world, let me know. I would love to hear from you all.
And if you have any self-care or self-celebration tips, please leave those in the comments as well. I’m sure we all could use it.
As always, stay bright.